How Coyote Married a Man by Aethan Coyote sat on a bluff one night and looked at the moon and thought. "I am tired," he said finally, "of being mocked." He was addressing, it seemed, nobody, or else the Moon herself. "Trickster they call me and say that I am good for nothing. Was it not I that put the stars in the sky? Was it not I that stole fire for mankind? Was it not I that put cactus thorns in Turtle's breechcloth?" He considered. "Well, perhaps that last wasn't s o wise, but surely the good things I've done outweigh the bad?" He frowned, feeling contemplative, but he was easily distracted. Imitating the hoots of owls and giggling when they answered was much more amusing than personal soul-searching, and he did it late into the night, returning, at last, to his tipi to sleep. One day, the Great Spirit went out walking. Coyote was woken from his sleep by the sound of his Chief's footsteps, so he roused himself from his bedroll. He stretched and yawned, his muzzle opening wide, wagged his tail, scratched his finger s through his fur, and went outside his tipi to see what was happening. The Great Spirit had decided that this would be a good day to wander the world and set all to right that was wrong, so he was striding from village to village, listening to the complaints of The People and making things good again. Coyote followed behind him, dogging his heels and watching with interest. The Great Spirit came to a village whose well had dried up, and The People who lived there implored him for help. He reached one long arm deep into the well and dragged out the clutter of twigs and grasses that had been blocking the waters. Soon the well was full again, and The People of the village rejoiced. They gave the Great Spirit many fine gifts and held a feast for him, serving their best meat. Coyote waited just out of sight of th e feast, chewing on a juicy piece of venison that he had stolen. "So that's how he does it!" Coyote thought to himself. "He does nice things for The People and then they give him feasts and gifts. I could do that. If the Great Spirit doesn't go out tomorrow, then I shall go in his place. He has his magick to aid him, but I have magick, too, and I am much cleverer." Sure enough, the next morning, the Great Spirit stayed in his bedroll with a warm young woman who had expressed her gratitude one step further. Coyote hopped in joy and struck off on his own to do a good deed, already licking his chops in anticipation of the feast they would hold in his honor. The walk was long, and he got brambles in his fur, so it was a very cranky would-be-helper who arrived in the next village. Nevertheless, he was determined to do his best. He came to the first crowd of People and drew himself up proudly. "Greetings, good folk! May your hunting ever prosper! If you are plagued by problems, then rejoice, for I, Coyote, am here to help you! A couple of young men cheered and gazed in wonder at him. The Coyote?" asked a young man named Shining Eagle. Coyote grinned, his teeth flashing white. "The very same." "The one who stole fire for mankind and put the stars in the sky?" asked Running Wolf, another man. "That's me," crowed Coyote triumphantly. "The same Coyote who brought death to the world for the first time?" asked a crotchety old woman named Stone Goose. "Er...um," said Coyote, suddenly not feeling so heroic or wonderful. "The Coyote who has gotten half the women of The People pregnant and then abandoned them?" snarled an angry young woman with her child. "The Coyote who steals our corn?" growled Running Wolf. "The Coyote who scares away the caribou when we are hunting?" asked Shining Eagle, a feral glint in his eyes. Coyote beat a hasty retreat, barely ducking and dodging a large number of projectiles hurled in his direction. "Their problem," said Coyote aloud when he had found a good place to hide, "is that their memories are selective and venomous." He kicked at a stone. "Well, they can go rot in the sun then; I won't help them." He was just about to leave when he heard the sounds of a crowd. He peeked, just to make sure they weren't coming after him, but this angry group was gathered around another figure, and he used his magick to make himself invisible, creeping closer to hear what was going on. The young man in their middle was handsome and broad of chest, fine of features and long of legs. He was called Proud Elk, and he lived up to his name. "The problem," he said with a beautiful smile, "is not that I cannot find a bride I like.The problem is that I cannot find a bride worthy of me." The other men of the village seemed very angry with the youth, and Coyote crept closer, fascinated. "I would marry one of your daughters," Proud Elk said with a condescending smile, "if any of them were good enough." The men grumbled again, but they could say nothing, for Proud Elk's father was leader in the village, and they knew that if they harmed him, his father's vengeance would be swift and terrible. "Make no mistake," Proud Elk said with a sneer and a toss of his antlers. "I could have any one of your daughters, marriage or no. I simply don't wish to lower my standards." That was the final straw, the men stormed away, followed by the mocking sound of Proud Elk's laughter. "So that's it!" thought Coyote. "They weren't really angry with me; they were just angry at this arrogant boy! Poor villagers. They'll be kicking themselves come morning when they realize how badly they mistreated me." Then an absolutely brilliant plan came to him. "I'll help them anyway!" he thought gleefully. "I'll take this cub down a few notches with my tricks , and that'll make everyone really grateful. They'll give me gifts and a feast, and a young woman will share my bedroll!" As he was leaving the village, he snuck into the houses of various young women and stole garments and jewelry, then slipped off to the woods. There he found bushes of red berries and picked them all, crushing them into his dusty fur to make it red and shiny. He twisted his hair into braids and put on the women's clothing and jewelry, then waited for night to fall. When the moon rose, it rose over a very sad Proud Elk. He had gone into the woods alone to hunt, but, as he often did, he made a fine kill in minutes, then went up onto a hill to think and watch the stars. "What's wrong with me?" he asked the moon. "For years now, I have longed to marry, but I cannot find a woman who stirs anything like love within me. The way they're curved, the way they are put together. Forgive me Great Spirit, but it just doesn't excite me." He bit his lip. "There must be something wrong with me. Women simply do not arouse passion within me." He lay back and looked up at the moon. Unbidden, into his mind, came the image of his fellow hunter, Standing Bear. They had been hunting together, had killed a buffalo, had been covered with blood. They had walked down to the river togther to wash off the blood, and Bear had unlaced his leggings, cast them aside, untied his breechclout. Proud Elk blushed terribly. His passion had woken then. He had felt his skin flush as he stared at the muscles in Standing Bear's legs and chest. He had looked at Standing Bear's huge cock and pendulous balls, swinging between his legs, and his own shaft had responded. He had gazed lovingly on Bear's large rear and imagined sliding his shaft into it, moving back and forth, in and out as a man does with a woman. "With a woman!" he cried out loud, but he didn't know who he was trying to convince. To his embarassment, he found that his shaft had risen again at the memory of Standing Bear's furry body. Then, something remarkable happened. A woman walked out of the woods towards him, and as he gazed on her, he felt a rising flush of heat in his body. She was most certainly female, from her dress and decoration, but she walked and moved like a man . Proud Elk thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, from her golden eyes to her red fur. "Greetings, warrior," she said softly, and even her voice was manly. "I am Princess Laughing Fox, and I am lost, very far from home. Could you hel p me?" Proud Elk's head buzzed, and he saw her through a veil of love, or, at least, of soul-consuming lust. He gave a toss of his head, his rack of antlers shining softly in the moonlight. "Good lady," he said in his deep voice, "I should be honored to aid you and help you find your way home. Your husband will no doubt be anxious to have you back." Princess Laughing Fox smiled, and his heart melted. "No, dear hunter. I have no husband, yet, and I cannot go back to my village. I am looking for a place to stay, somewhere to live. Would your village allow me refuge?" Proud Elk grinned, his head swimming. No husband! Thank you, Great Spirit! "My father, Strong Elk, is leader of the village. I am certain we can find a place for you to stay." Over the next few days, the villagers marvelled at the transformation of Proud Elk. He followed Princess Laughing Fox (who laughed quite a lot, since his trick was going so well) like a love sick puppy-dog. The villagers couldn't fathom it, since she was the strangest and homeliest woman they had ever seen, but Proud Elk seemed to think her incomparably lovely. She was terrible at all womanly tasks, lacking skill in even basic sewing and cooking, but Proud Elk seemed to think her the flower of all womankind. "She must be in heat," Shining Eagle finally joked, and the village nodded and giggled and looked the other way. It came as no great surprise to anyone when Proud Elk asked hi s father's permission to marry Princess Laughing Fox, one week after their first meeting. Their wedding feast was enormous, and the gifts were many, pleasing the "bride" to no end. Coyote was relieved that his trick would soon be over, for he had begun to chafe at being cooped up with the women and unable to do anything with them. He would've liked to have gone hunting with his husband-to-be, but he suspected that would've given the trick away. And so he had waited, more patient than he had ever been. "This wedding tric k is the best ever!" he thought to himself. "I haven't even finished it yet, and they're giving me gifts and a feast already! That'll be two feasts and double the gifts for the same trick!" He cackled and rubbed his hands with glee. "Something pleases you, wife?" asked Proud Elk. "Um," said Coyote, "I was..." He thought quickly. "I was merely...looking forward to our wedding night!" Proud Elk turned to him with a smile. "So am I, wife. So am I." Coyote pondered this and felt vaguely uncomfortable. So stuffed with food that they could hardly move, Proud Elk and Princess Laughing Fox staggered to their new tipi. The village roared its approval. "Make lots of babies!" cried Running Wolf, and Coyote wondered what they meant. Once inside their tipi, Proud Elk tied the flaps closed and gestured to the new bed of furs. Coyote walked over and sat down, smiling up at him, thinking how funny it was going to be when th e trick was over. Proud Elk sat down next to his "wife" and leaned forward, kissing her deeply. Coyote's eyes went wide. Somehow, he had forgotten this part about weddings. Proud Elk was going to want to...to... Sure enough, the warrior began to disrobe, and Coyote felt a lump in his stomach. When Proud Elk dropped his breechclout to the floor, Coyote's jaw fell with it. Proud Elk's antlers weren't the only thing large about him! Coyote had never seen a man's penis as large before, and involuntarily, he brought his hand up to touch it, to see if it was real. Proud Elk's moan convinced him it was. He squeezed experimentally, and the warrior groaned again. "Oh, wife," he sighed. "Your hands are so soft and cool." "And your shaft is so hot!" Coyote exclaimed. "Doesn't it hurt to have it so hot?" Proud Elk laughed. "I'll soon cool it inside you, wife, like plunging a torch into a pool of water." Coyote jumped a little, not at all certain he liked the imagery.Proud Elk smiled, a little coyly. "I have never seen a woman naked," he admitted. "What are you like under your clothing?" "Oh, uh...much the same as you," Coyote said with a nervous grin. He stroked his paw along the large shaft in his hand. "Only smaller." "Show me!" Proud Elk commanded, lust in his eyes. Coyote meekly obeyed, stripping out of everything. Proud Elk was fascinated. "Why you're just like a man!" Coyote blushed. "I'm pleased," said Proud Elk, drawing him closer. Coyote succumbed to his "husband's" caresses, his back arching when Proud Elk's hands slid down to caress his buttocks. Almost involuntarily, Coyote began to kiss and lick at Proud Elk's throat. Some part of his mind kept insisting, "Just to make the trick better!" When Proud Elk urged his "wife" onto his hands and knees, Coyote wasn't at all certain of what was coming next, but when he felt the warrior mount him, sliding in easily thanks to the gobbets of pre-cum Proud Elk's cock had been spitting, he almost panicked. "You've never done this before," said Proud Elk tenderly. Coyote shook his head vehemently. "Neither have I," Proud Elk whispered. "We'll go slow and gentle." Coyote groane d as the elk's shaft slowly spread him open. His husband's hands stroked his belly and chest, relaxing him slowly. Proud Elk put his hands on Coyote's cock, using his own thrusting motions to make Coyote's cock hump into his hands. Coyote was stunned, too flushed with pleasure to be able to think properly. The feeling of being filled by another man was like nothing he had ever experienced, and he wondered if there was something wrong with him, because he was enjoying it immensely. Proud Elk was slow and gentle, and Coyote felt a twinge of remorse. When he had married Mole, Coyote had not been gentle, and he wished his wife was still alive to apologize to. Very soon, Coyote felt a sensation he knew well building in his groin. He was puzzled, for, to date, only women and his own touch had brought this sensation on. Nevertheless, there it was, and he welcomed it. His climax hit hard, causing him to spill a copious amount of seed into the furs. He cried out loudly as he came, and, a moment later, Proud Elk cried out as well, climaxing inside his wife. Coyote's ass was suddenly even more full, wet sticky fluid splashing into him. It was a strange but wonderful sensation, and he relished it. Finally, Proud Elk groaned softer and held him close, not withdrawing from him. A few minutes later, Coyote heard his husband's breathing grow softer and more rhythmic, and he knew that Proud Elk was asleep. Coyote wanted a chance to think, but the strange feelings in his rear were making it difficult. What had happened? He wasn't sure, but he thought he had just made love with another man and throughly enjoyed it. He was confused and dismayed, and, above all, he was certain that the Great Spirit had never had this happen! For a moment, he considered not letting on about the ruse. "It might be nice," he thought, "to just keep letting Proud Elk do this to me. He'd bring home food and presents, and I could just sit around all day doing nothing." He frowned. "No, I'd get bored of that." He stood up. Proud Elk stirred but fell back asleep. He smiled down. "No," he thought. "To finish the trick, I have to expose it. Sorry, husband." He walked to the flaps of the tipi and opened them, walking naked down to the river as the women did to bathe. He heard a large commotion building behind him as he walked, and he grinned. He heard them calling for Proud Elk, and he cackled gleefully. "Soon," he thought, "the feast will begin to honor me." When he got to the river, he laughed as the women scattered, shrieking. He stepped into the water and began rinsing the berry juice out of his fur. He turned, and, seeing a bleary eyed Proud Elk just coming up, he pointed a finger and laughed. "There! The trick worked completely! I am not Princess Laughing Fox! I am Coyote, and I have fooled you all! But, most especially, I have fooled this arrogant idiot who mocked you all!" Proud Elk stuttered out, "Fooled? Beloved?" Coyote sneered. "Fooled completely. He even went to bed with me last night, never knowing at all that it was a man he mounted!" The villagers began to laugh, and Proud Elk's eyes streamed with tears. Coyote grinned. "Now," he thought, "they will hold the feast for me." But, as he listened, he realized they were mocking him just as much as they were mocking Proud Elk. His cheeks burned. Proud Elk had done his foolishness in ignorance, but he had done the same knowing exactly what he was doing. He had tricked himself far worse than Proud Elk had been tricked. The first stone thrown at him took him quite by surprise, and he yelped as it struck his arm. The little children were making faces, shouting at him, and throwing stones. He ran, as much from his own embarassment and shame as from fear, and he didn't stop until he reached another village. He said nothing there about what he had done, and he went back to stealing food, rather than expecting feasts. Several days later, Proud Elk appeared in the village. Coyote growled and was going to go strike him, but he stopped, looking at his "husband" in horror. He was not Proud Elk any longer. His braids had been cut off, and his once beautiful antlers had been worked on, broken and smashed until they were a shabby shadow of their former glory. Coyote crept close, hiding from the young man. "I have no name," the wretched outcast told the leader of the new village. "My father cast me out of his house, and I am now a wanderer and exile." "You may have food, then, and shelter," said the village leader, "but you may not live here." Coyote smiled, feeling a little better. "At least," he thought, "I still have my name." He was not completely satisfied, however. "I am going to make a fool of him! I am going to do it to him again! But, this time, I won't expose him in public; I'm just going to show him what an idiot he is." And so, Coyote ran ahead of him to the next village and became Little Wolf Lady, rolling in the dirt to make himself look more wolf-like. And when Nameless came into the village, Little Wolf Lady took pity on him, and, in a few days, they were married, and he was called Proud Elk again. Coyote barely noticed the wedding feast, longing to show Proud Elk was a moron he was, and he was very surprised when, after the warrior had tied closed the flaps of the tipi, Proud Elk turned and said, "Hello, Coyote." Coyote jumped. "You knew?" Proud Elk rolled his eyes. "Of course I knew. I'm not that much of an idiot." "Oh," Coyote pondered. "But you married me anyway?" The warrior nodded. "I wanted to have a chance to talk. Sit with me, 'wife', and let us talk." Coyote thought about this and sat down on the furs, listening. "I don't know what ill will I earned from you, Coyote," Proud Elk said sadly, "but your trick has cost me a lot. Mostly, though, it has made me think." The warrior turned to look a t Coyote with his brown eyes. "I do not think that I was born to love women. I think the Great Spirit made me so that I would love men." Coyote's face flushed. "And, even if I had known, that night we were together, I think I would have done what I did anyway, because it was so good. I...I'm not entirely certain of what I'm trying to say. I think I love you, Coyote. I hate you, for what you did to me, but I love you, too, and I have from the moment Princess Laughing Fox came out of the woods and asked me for help." Coyote was completely dumbfounded. He scratched his head. "I...I wasn't trying to do this. I'm sorry, Proud Elk." He looked down. "I do not know if I love you, but I know I do not truly hate you. The night we spent together, I nearly decided the next day not to finish the trick. I almost decided to stay with you. I had never made love with a man before. I still love women, and I love to have sex with them, but...I think I might like men, too. Or, at least, I like you, and I think I'd enjoy sleeping with you again." Coyote was struggling for words. "But, I swear, if this is some trick to get back at me..." Proud Elk drew him near. "Is this a trick?" The two kissed again, as they had before, but, this time, they both put their passion into it and both gasped as they broke away. "Not a trick," whispered Coyote. "I'm sorry for what I did to you, Proud Elk." He hung his head. Proud Elk scratched his ears softly. "That's all right, lover. Otherwise we might never have gotten the chance to be together at all." Coyote kissed Proud Elk again, then slowly kissed his way down to Proud Elk's shaft. "My wife, Spirits Keep Her, used to do this for me, and I liked it a lot. Maybe you'll like it, too." He kissed the tip of Proud Elk's cock, and the warrior moaned loudly. Encouraged, Coyote slowly slid his long thin muzzle over the hunter's shaft and began to suckle like a baby at its mother's teat. Proud Elk gripped his shoulders and began to hump into his mouth slightly, so Coyote let him, making his mouth an "O" around his husband's warm penis. A very short time later, Proud Elk cried out and came in Coyote's muzzle. Coyote was surprised, but he swallowed as best he could, coughing and sputtering. "Sorry, wife," Proud Elk chuckled. "I should have warned you." Coyote grinned mischievously. "Roll over. I know a way you can make it up to me." Proud Elk got to his hands and knees, watching as Coyote walked behind him. Coyote mounted Proud Elk as the warrior had him, slowly and gently. Proud Elk was tight and hot around his shaft, and he moaned as Coyote pushed all the way into him. "So warm!" Coyote gasped. Coyote thrust, marvelling at how much tighter a man was than a woman and thinking that he quite liked the difference. He held his lover's hips and slowly pounded into him, moaning and grunting with every shove. Suddenly, he realized that Proud Elk was thrusting back against him, driving him in deeper with every forward motion. He clung to the hunter's legs and began pounding as deeply and as quickly as he could, grinning as he was rewarded by the lovely sound of Proud Elk moaning in ecstacy. Before two minutes had passed, Coyote raised his muzzle to the roof of the tipi and howled as he came, spurred on by Proud Elk's groans and gasps of pleasure. He thrust, feeling his own semen flowing into his partner's ample rectum. Not a drop spilled, but all was greedily kept by Proud Elk's rear. Slowly, Coyote withdrew and turned his lover around. The two of them fell asleep in each other's arms, happier than they had been in ages. The next morning, the men of the village made chuckling mention of Little Wolf Lady's modesty, for she refused to bathe with the other women. The two newly-weds left only a couple of days later, after receiving many gifts from the other villagers and enjoying a farewell feast held in their honor. The village waved them farewell as they walked, hand in hand, towards the setting sun. The two travelled together for sometime before finally returning to Coyote's village. "Do you regret," asked Proud Elk one night, "that we can never have children?" "I have enough children already," said Coyote with a giggle. "I don't want any more." I wish I could say that they lived happily ever after, but fidelity is not Coyote's way. He went off eventually, and Proud Elk waited and waited, and, finally, realized he wasn't coming back. Proud Elk never stopped waiting, though, and, on his death-bed, he was rewarded. Coyote, still looking as young as ever, came to visit his old, old lover. "You came back," Proud Elk said with a smile on his wrinkled face. "I came back," said Coyote simply. "I don't want you to die, Proud Elk." The old man sighed. "I don't have any choice, Coyote. I am mortal, and very, very old." Not to me," said Coyote softly. "To me, you still seem the same. The old warrior coughed, several times, and smiled weakly. "Sadly, to the rest of the world, I shall soon be gone." Coyote shook his head. "No. I won't let that happen." He leaned down and took his lover in a deep kiss. Proud Elk's eyes closed, and he sighed softly, surrendering to Coyote's eager tongue. Finally, Coyote found what he wanted and broke the kiss with a little gasp. Proud Elk sighed as he sat back, and no more breath parted his lips. He had died, his final breath taken while Coyote's lips held his. Mouth tightly closed, Coyote ran out of the building. Coyote pulled out his bow and fired it into the sky, piercing the firmament just at perfect north. He fired a second arrow so that it stuck into the first arrow and a third so that it stuck into the second. He continued this, on and on, until he had a bridge of arrows leading into the sky. He ran up the arrows and sat on the,m his hand caressing the sky gently. Then he opened his mouth and took Proud Elk's soul out. He held it for a moment, marvelling at how it smelled, looked, and felt like him. It glowed brightly with love at his touch, and he finally hung it on the sky before heading back down to the earth and pulling his arrows free. "Now everyone," he said softly, "will be guided by you, as I was guided by you once, long ago." He blew a kiss to the sky and went on his way, leaving Proud Elk's soul shining as the North Star, a welcome compass to all those who are lost in the night. And it is said that, at times, Coyote still looks up at the sky, sees the star, and howls with mourning at the loss of his first male lover. And someone, usually a farmer, irate at the loss of sheep or sleep, takes a potshot at him. And sometimes he hits. And sometimes it kills him. Then, Coyote's son has to come and step over the body three times, and then Coyote isn't dead any more. That's the way it is.